| 1. | Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me the hell alone. |
| 2. | The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tyre |
| 3. | It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbour's newspaper, that's the time to do it. |
| 4. | Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any. |
| 5. | Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. |
| 6. | No one is listening until you fart. |
| 7. | Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else. |
| 8. | Never test the depth of the water with both feet. |
| 9. | It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others. |
| 10. | It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help. |